


Withheld Mercies

by GaHoolianGirl



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: An athiest in a world you know god existed once but no more, Established Relationship, Hubert has crisis of faith? Kind of? It's tough to be, Hubert has some stuff that needs to be worked through and in this fic he does NOT work through it, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21543136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: “I beg you, he must not be taken from me...” Hubert held Ferdinand’s weak, cold hand in his own for a moment, squeezing it tightly before letting it go, wishing, hoping, and for once in his miserable life, praying, that some of his own warmth could bleed into his lovers. He would sacrifice his very life force in exchange for recovery of the one he loved, more than any other.I shall never stop cursing your name, Sothis, for all that you have done, but if you are the merciful goddess those fools prosthelytize you as, please, please do not take him from me. That is all I would ever and shall ever ask of you.Ferdinand is gravely injured, and Hubert makes a vow.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 10
Kudos: 97





	Withheld Mercies

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic in the "Hubert has unresolved issues" category. This one is so somber I'm not even gonna put it in my Ferdibert fic series haha. A spoiler, Ferdinand isn't gonna die, don't worry.

“I beg you, he must not be taken from me...” Hubert held Ferdinand’s weak, cold hand in his own for a moment, squeezing it tightly before letting it go, wishing, hoping, and for once in his miserable life, _praying_ , that some of his own warmth could bleed into his lovers. He would sacrifice his very life force in exchange for recovery of the one he loved, more than any other.

 _I shall never stop cursing your name, Sothis, for all that you have done, but if you are the merciful goddess those fools prosthelytize you as, please,_ **_please_ ** _do not take him from me. That is all I would ever and shall ever ask of you._

This plea he knew would fall on the deaf ears of a dead goddess, but at this moment he felt a twinge of understanding for the faithful, for the comforts they found in their prayers. They would feel less pain than he does now, staring at Ferdinand’s pathetically slowly rising and falling chest, unsure if he will survive the night.

The goddess may not have heard him, but perhaps Ferdinand did, as his eyes fluttered open, glassy and distant at first before blinking several times, regaining a semblance of consciousness. He rolled his head in the pillow to gaze upon his lover, confusion written on his face, “Hubert?” hoarse and weak, he called out to the other man, each syllable an arrow in Hubert’s heart.

“Yes, I’m here.”

“What...” his voice cracked from disuse, so Hubert reached out to carefully lift his head and encouraged him to take several small sips of water from a glass that rested on the bedside table. After several measured gulps, he tried once more, “What happened? My memory of the event is hazy...”

Hubert had no desire to relive that moment, “There was an assassin in hiding after the battle’s end, attempting to at least enact some lasting damage on us. They ran at,” _lie_ _, you possess that power, you could say the name of anyone in this strike force and he would believe you,_ “Myself, and you decide to play the valiant hero,” There rest need not be said, it was clear enough. The damnable fool had pushed him out of the way, the blade lodging itself in his chest, leaving the assailant to be burned by Hubert’s flames.

“Ah, I see,” Ferdinand ventured a shaking hand to gingerly touch his bandaged chest. His voice was thick and slurred, “I was so indisposed from a single stab wound?”

 _I have received far worse on the battlefield_ , was what was implied.

“There was poison on the blade. It was crudely made, so it was difficult to ascertain your condition. Lindhardt and Mercedes have classified you as,” the word stuck in his mouth, reticent to see the light of day, “in critical danger.”

“‘would do it again,” his eyelids were clearly growing heavy once more, “For you. Would do it again.”

Hi voice trailed, “For you...”

And once more, he slept.

And Hubert, if he had less control over himself, would have wept.

He doubled over in his chair, resting his forehead on Ferdinand’s hand, reiterating his earlier prayer in his mind. Never before had he felt such pain, such a twisting in his gut that nausea was a constant threat in the back of his throat. Not when he himself was in danger, not when Lady Edelgard was captured and stolen away to Faerghus, not when Lady Edelgard was in danger. 

The realization that Ferdinand had wholly replaced Edelgard as the primary one in his heart hit him like a rampaging of Duscur Boar. He was betraying the vows he had sworn to himself years ago, what he had prided himself on and believed so integral to his very person. But it could not be denied, not any longer.

“I am a vassal to Her Majesty first and foremost. Until my dying breath, my servitude belongs to none other. But as an individual,” he took in a deep breath, thankful the other was not awake, and even if he was, would not be lucid enough to remember this, “I swear my unyielding fealty to you. From this day unto eternity, I am your man, without reservation.”

Perhaps he would not feel as such without this desperate situation, but now he hoped that this vow would ease his pain, that now his loyalty would keep Ferdinand alive, that his dedication would take the place of his breathing, his love supplanting his need for pumping blood.

...those thoughts were not healthy, and he knew it, but examining them was for when Ferdinand was well, when his pleas were answered and he was no longer alone with his thoughts, a half dead man, and the corpse of a deity looking down at him with her withheld mercies.•

**Author's Note:**

> Hubie KNOWS he has a problem but he's just postponing working on it. A depressing relatable mood, unfortunately lmao. Let me know what you thought!


End file.
